Is it allowed for a Muslim woman to have pre-marital sex? This is a question asked by many young Muslim males and females. Although Islam permits sex, the majority of practicing Muslims adhere to the Islamic law which prohibits sex outside of marriage. This makes having pre-marital sex very difficult for them. Some may argue that it is not ‘right’ for a Muslim woman to have pre-marital sex. However, in Islam, the right of your woman is equivalent to that of your man, so as a man I would certainly agree with her point of view on this.
Some may say that it is ‘right’ for a Muslim girl to have pre-marital sex with her boyfriend/ husband. What they fail to understand is the right of their beloved women is dependent on the condition laid down by the Allah. He has stated it clearly in the Quran. The Arabic word for ‘sex’ islar which means both the male and female sexual organs.
According to the Bible, the women in the bible did not use contraceptives and neither did their husbands. So is it correct then to say that Muslim women are prevented from having sex until they get married? If the answer is yes, then why do Muslim men feel the need to start having sex before marriage? I believe the answer to this question is because in Islam, sex is seen as a duty and thus before marriage is seen as the time when a woman is given the right to experience pre-mature birth.
This is because in Islam, a Muslim man’s duty is to guide his wife through her life. The woman’s duty is to stay away from bad influences. She cannot be expected to enjoy her husband’s physical pleasures. Therefore, Muslim men feel the need to have pre-marital sex in order to satisfy their duty and prevent themselves from being exposed to the ‘shame’ of being exposed as ‘unclean’. They do not want their wives to know that they are having pre-marital sex.
However, there are many married women in the west who say that they enjoy pre-marital sex and do not feel the need to stop having sex while they are still married. Is it right for these women to say that they want to have pre-marital sex so they can enjoy sex with their husband? It seems that the answer to the question ‘can Muslims have sex before marriage? ‘can vary immensely from one woman to the next.
Some women say that they think that sex is a gift from God and should therefore not be confined within the confines of a marriage. They feel that it is not fair that a Muslim man should demand sex from his wife. Many women also say that they have been violated in their right to privacy by the fact that their husbands keep visiting their rooms after they have been married. There are also many women who feel that the right to have sex before marriage is infringed upon by Muslim men because they are unable to control themselves when they are naked around their wives.
There are other married women saying that they want to have pre-marital sex to please their husbands. They feel that by having this kind of sex, their husbands will appreciate it more. This could be true. However, it is also a false premise that because men find certain things attractive in women that they will automatically fall in love with them. Sex is a physical act and the way people enjoy it may not be based on feelings. As to whether a Muslim man should force his married partner to have pre-marital sex, this is something you would have to discuss between the two of you thoroughly.
In fact, this issue has actually caused many differences and conflicts in the marriages of both the sexes in many Muslim societies. There are those who say that it is not necessary for a Muslim woman to have pre-marital sex. Then there are those who insist that it is a necessity. Even if Muslim law does not mention anything about having sex before marriage, there are many individuals who feel that Muslim women should have the choice as to whether or not she wants to have pre-marital sex. For all you know, the answer might be yes for some women and no for others.